I got the idea to write this story in the 90’s when the Clinton Administration was working on welfare reform. In Connecticut welfare was reduced to 24 months in a lifetime and some welfare-to-work programs were initiated to help welfare recipients become self-sufficient. At the time I was working in a commercial printing company as a bindery helper. A bindery helper is an entry-level job in the printing trade. When the workload in the bindery would temporarily become too much for the regular crews to handle the company would hire temp workers from a couple of nearby temp agencies. One week we were inundated with jobs that needed to deliver soon and all hands were on deck. One of the temp agencies sent over a crew to help us out. The work was fast-paced and physical, no education required. Just showing up and staying in your work area were the most important requirements for success. However, manual dexterity and being able to pay attention were useful assets.
One of the guys who was sent over as a temp could not grasp any part of the job no matter how hard he tried. He was first told to catch some folded note cards off a folding machine, quickly jog up a measured handful and pack it into a carton in a certain layout. This was way too advanced for him. He couldn’t catch the fanned out cards as they steadily traveled down the belt of the folding machine quickly enough. The groups of cards were separated into groups of 50 with a small space dividing the groups. If you didn’t pick up each group quickly enough, as they gathered at the end of the belt the cards would slide together and you’d lose that gap that separated each group and as a result, lose count. In the meantime, more groups of 50 were traveling down the belt. Once you fall behind, it’s extremely difficult to catch back up without having the folder operator stop the machine and lose production time. Each job was quoted to the customer as so many hours run with so many people working. If the job went over time or used more than the quoted number of workers, the job would be losing money. Needless to say, stopping the machine was avoided at all costs, no pun intended. When other workers had to give him a hand in addition to their own job, he was given something simpler to do.
He was next shown how to use the carton stapler and put together cartons and stack them so the other helpers catching and packing at the folding machines could easily access them. This was also too difficult a task for this guy, so he was handed a broom and told to sweep out the trimmings from under the folding machines where they would gather and eventually pile up so high they would become tangled in the machine rollers causing the machine to jam and stop. Believe it or not, he had trouble keeping up with this task too, although he had better luck with this job than with the other opportunities.
At this point he was so frustrated at his failures he copped an angry attitude and began blaming the machines, the other workers, everything and everyone but himself. He was let go before finishing out his first day.
This is the type of person who is just not able to work because of his severe incompetence. At the time of all the welfare reform I was extremely liberal and thought these cuts were really unfair because some people simply aren’t able to perform the simplest of jobs. I’ve worked with other people over the years who were unable to learn simple jobs as well.
Warren was a bad employee, as well as lazy. There aren’t many jobs where you can remain employed even though you have no personal hygiene skills and go to work smelling like alcohol. Yet he truly believed he was not only worthy but also valuable. In my ultra liberal thinking back then I worried about these people who were unable to work but needed welfare to survive. What would become of them after the 24-month cut off? Darlene was the only member of the family who cared enough to get her kids to school. She was also the only member of the family that seemed to be employable. If her welfare had been discontinued, her children would have paid the price by losing her supervision, such as it was.
Another reason I wrote Warren the Moron was to make my then-husband laugh. He motivated me to continue writing and keep the story moving toward the finish. He looked forward to reading each chapter and I enjoyed making him happy. We would laugh together as he would read what I had written or I would read it aloud to him. Even though we’re divorced now he still urges everyone to read the book and insists that it’s hilarious.
