The Cars of King Warren the Moron

Since Warren and his family are poor because he's content to sit around and drink all day and night instead of working to provide a decent home for his children, any cars he happens to own are going to be old pieces of crap.  His car would likely be decades old in order for them to be in his price range and since the story takes place in the mid 90s any car he could afford would probably be a model from the 70s. This gave me the opportunity to use cars from my past in the story.

The 1972 Plymouth Duster junked in the yard was my first car which I bought from my parents when I was 18. I actually took over their payments and paid it off. By the time I had to get rid of it, it had all the damage that is described in the ebook. I allowed my boyfriend to take it cruising and boozing with his friends while I was at work during the day. He always had a good story to explain how it was never his fault when he would pick me up from work with a new dent in it. He was never allowed behind the wheel of the car I bought to replace the Duster. Live and learn.

The other junk car in the yard, a Ford Pinto, was my mother's car. It was the first car she bought herself since before she married my father. My parents always shared a car until then because my mother didn't work outside the home until I was a teenager. She bought it to drive herself to work and taught my younger sister to drive in that car. The hatchback was a cool new thing back then and we could carry a lot of beer in it. Throw a blanket over it and no one knew the hatchback held cases of beer. My sister totaled the Pinto mere weeks after getting her drivers license driving home from the drive-in with our cousin and a friend.

I chose a Ford Maverick for Warren's present car because there were a lot of them around in the early 70s. They were pretty ugly when they were new, so imagining one still on the road in the 90s was pretty humorous. Full of empty beer cans and no exhaust system just added to the humorous imagery. Dark green seemed to be a popular color for them so his was dark green. I don't remember ever riding in one or knowing anyone who owned one other than a couple of neighbors, I just remember them being everywhere.

Ron's car is a 1985 Oldsmobile Cutlass. Since Ron is better than Warren at holding down a job he was fortunate enough to own a much newer car than him even though it was still ten years old. I gave Ron a Cutlass because back in the 80s they were a pretty sharp looking car and I wouldn't have minded owning one myself. My father was an Oldsmobile driver for many years and owned a succession of Delta 88s. Oldsmobile used to make a really nice car and it's too bad they ended production.